The Mayan Experience

My experience in Guatemala is difficult to put in words after days of learning and reflecting on a country that has experienced so much trauma, tragedy, and loss. Although at times it was difficult for me to take in the reality of this country and what I saw from my very own eyes, I managed to see the light in the little triumphs that were mentioned and shared in class. However maintaining a positive attitude on the future of this country was my biggest challenge. Many times I would smile, laugh and pretend as if my outer reflected my inner thoughts. Yet deep inside my heart cried and crumbled as stories were shared and new points were learned.

Most of my reflection took place on the van as I looked out the window and I never imagined how different life would be here. As I stared through the glass I paid close attention to the people walking the streets. I often wondered if they were walking to work or school or if they even had the privilege of having a job or school nearby? I also wondered if their walk was one, two or ten miles away? I began to reflect on my life imagining myself walking for hours and hours just to get to school. Too often I take for granted my means of transportation. I could not imagine what it would be like to walk miles to get to school. I can already hear myself complaining about the bright sun and long distance.

In other words, as I sat there comfortably in the seat of this van, enjoying the air conditioner and music coming from my iPod I felt a sense of guilt. This overwhelming sense of guilt forced me to think of my life and the privileges that came along with it. After careful reflection on myself I began to generalize my perceptions and ask myself questions. Why is life unfair to some and not others? Why are there so many injustices in the world? Everything I read about Guatemala was staring me in the face: poverty, racism, classism, malnutrition, violence and fear. The observations I made day to day forced my mind to think critically of my life and to be honest I resented the idea of having to think this way.

           

Originally I came to this country open minded willing to learn about history, culture and tradition with hopes of gaining a better understanding of what it means to be a Guatemalan. Yet this learning and experience came to me like a bright light glaring into my eyes not allowing me to see clearly. As much as I wanted to avoid the reality of this country or take a break from the truth; I could not. I was surrounded in everyway possible by the consequences of the war. Even if I was in my room or having a delicious dinner I could not get away mentally. While the class chatted about assignments or personal life I continued to reflect on this reality and I was often left drained. The connection that I had to the Mayan people came from my experience as a Mexican descendant living in the U.S. I resonate with feelings of isolation, inferiority and discrimination.

In my attempt to learn about a particular culture I eventually learned more about myself. My thoughts, feelings and emotions triggered in me the desire and passion to help others. I urged myself to look beyond the immediate picture because there is always something more. There could be history, culture, potential, and disaster but at the same time there can be an opportunity to make a difference in a positive way. The glass is never half empty. Guatemala will always hold a special place in my heart. The memories, stories, sites, and the people have all contributed to my personal growth not only as a person but as a woman of color. I am thankful and grateful that I have been given the opportunity to see the world from a different perspective.

The celebration of “el cristo negro” was a highlight of my experience because I was able to understand the importance of religion for the Guatemalan people and how this plays a significant role in their lives and way of healing. I was also surprised to see how people were able to move on from the war without feeling hate or resentment. Xmucane is an incredible role model of what it means to be at peace and let things go that fill you with hatred. She is inspiring and empowering because even with all that she has endured she continues to walk with her head high. Julio Cochoy taught me the importance of breaking silence. The last part of his presentation was powerful when he asked the group to share their personal traumas. He helped me realize that every single person has trauma and we must find ways to confront it so that we can begin the process of healing. 

To close, the best advice I took from this trip was to expand my learning. Yolanda Colom discussed the importance of stepping outside our comfort zones. When we become too specialized we get stuck in our ways of thinking and learning. It is always important to learn about the opposing side even if we do not always agree with them because even the opposing side has a mind of their own. I will carry this in the work that I do by being open and willing to see all sides of the story. A quote that reminds of Yolanda’s advice is, “If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t need to worry about his actions.” We cannot be ignorant of issues that affect us all!

Si se puede!