I was once told by a psychologist that I was a reactionist. I react to many things however my reaction varies depending on what is being discussed. For instance, diversity and inclusion is a topic that brings passion and emotion to my conversation especially being on a predominately white campus.
I had been sitting in my class for the past five weeks listening to people dance around issues of race and ethnicity for fear of being judged. As a class we had no problem discussing gender, religion, group dynamics, functions of authority etc. With a class of about a hundred students I can see why bringing up this topic can be a challenge. So I decided once and for all that I would do it. I would create a voice for myself and for others by discussing issues that get swept under the rug.
In doing so, I created anxiety and challenged people's perspectives. It's okay to disagree because everyone has something to offer that is valuable. I did not bring up these issues in order to provide answers or solutions. My intent was not to provide a recipe on how to handle or deal with race and ethnicity but rather create dialogue. You see, I think its worse if we choose to ignore or pretend that these issues don't exist. Its worse to sweep these issues under a rug and treat them as if they don't matter. I wanted to create conversation and get people thinking even they choose not to agree with me.
Speaking up in class was not an easy task and as I reflected back on what happened I realized that as a leader there are things I must work on. My reaction. I personalize responses and feel the need to defend myself especially when people offend me. In doing this I wonder how I make others feel and how I am being perceived? Am I doing a disservice by acting out of emotion and making it about myself? A leader that leads can own their responsibility and take the heat. I have reflected and processed what happened over and over and have come to the realization that instead of reacting I should have proposed questions. I should have given the work back and allow people to think critically for themselves. I have been defending myself my whole life (I'm tired) and besides the issue isn't just about me.
Therefore, in response to what someone else said in class for using the term "race card," I should have not reacted personally. Yes words such as these trigger something in me but saying "you offended me" is a lot different than "I feel a response to the term race card why do you think that might be?"
As a leader who leads I have potential to grow and learn. I am brave, outspoken and articulate. I did something others refused to do and I give myself credit for that. I love challenging people and thinking outside the box. I spoke with my authentic voice and will continue to do so. I have been blessed with many opportunities and will use my voice with integrity and passion because I am here to serve and represent my community!
¡Si Se Puede!
