Chasing A Dream

They told me I would never do it;

I would never achieve it.

The odds were against me;

a daughter of an illegal alien is all they see.

My sister pregnant at sixteen;

forced to be a mother, when she was only a teen.

Visits to see my brother behind bars

left my mother wounded with deep scars.

Santa Maria Madre de Dios were the words of my mother in desperation;

praying and wishing for a salvation.

Childhood memories left me with no voice,

but choosing this road was my choice.

Call it transformative if you choose,

because there was no way I was going to lose.

Si se puede was the echo in my ear,

telling myself there’s nothing to fear.

Wanting to be a good role model is what got me here.

Telling my family to not believe what they hear.

I am NOT lazy, pregnant or dumb;

look at what this fine lady turned out to become.

All the bad in my life turned out to be good

and it was all because I grew up in the hood!

I was only a girl; chasing a dream;

but it’s not what it seems.

I’m not suppose to be here is what they had me believing,

had me thinking that the best choice for me was leaving.

Realized that I had a drive to exercise my right,

I will not leave in fact I’m back again for another fight.

Out of this world, out of your reach,

you have nothing to give me; nothing to teach,

Only your history that has nothing to do with me;

negative portrayals of my people is what you want me to see.

How do I grow up loving myself?

When all I see are bad representations of me.

Is this who you want me to be?

Creating self hate is that my true fate?

I came for the degree not your oppression;

But it all started with capitulation.

Leading to self alienation;

taking away my culture and history through exploitation.

But I am fighting to reclaim and bring back my culture;

It’s time for REVITALIZATION!

“Education is suffering from narration sickness” (2010, 71)

all this banking education is creating an illness.

Mechanically memorizing what we are taught;

not leaving room for our personal thought.

Struggle begins with recognition;

it’s time for liberatory education.

“Critical consciousness cannot occur

if students are passive receptacle of information” (2010, 54)

I was only a girl; chasing a dream;

but it’s not what it seems.

Look at me now;

Twenty-seven years later and I still got to bow.

A college educated Latina still fighting the odds;

Fighting for respect from people who think their gods;

Wanting their approval when all she gets are nods.

The pyramid I climb is not socially constructed;

based on power and dominance that make it destructed.

The pyramid I climb was built by the Aztecs;

My CULTURE

                       EDUCATION

                                         And EXPERIENCE

                                                                        Share the same aspects.                                    

Rags to riches?

Isn’t that what we all poor kids aspire to be?

Capitalism corrupting the existence of me.

So tell me who is that you want me to be?

The working-class Mexican who grew up with no dad;

living on welfare because we had it that bad?

Or the does College Educated Hispanic meet your demands;

the one with a Beemer who wears designer brands?

You see it don’t matter how hard I try;

because I am still left wondering if this was even worth my try.

How do I tell you what I’m feeling inside?

When my spirit is tired; looking for places to hide.

The island I live on gets very lonely;

It’s as if no one knows me.

How I do get my family to see;

when they don’t even know what its like to get a degree?

What must I do for you to see me;

To get you to understand what it’s like to be me?

SUCK it up Irma! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!

because no one cares if you relapse.

I was only a girl; chasing a dream;

But it’s not what it seems.

Life can take you so many places;

Meeting and greeting all different races.

I feel like I’m on a road with no destination

Just hoping to be a better citizen of this great nation.

So open your eyes before you die;

Stop pretending and living a lie.

I’m paving the way and making big changes;

Hoping and wishing for better exchanges.

I never forget what I’m worth;

because this is the beginning of my new birth.

No ring on this finger, not a great cook

and all it took was for me to pick up a book.

I was only a girl; chasing a dream;

But it’s not what it seems.